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Celebrating Loving Fathers

I find Father’s day to be a rough one. I lost my father when I was 14, and he was 40. He loved me deeply. He lived life with full passion, and I clearly take after him in that way. I still think of him often. I am glad I am clear of the love he held for me, and I try to hold that thought on this day.

My Father-in-Law is the only father in my life at this time. My husband is not a father, and my only brother is not a father, either. Brian’s father is a very good man. He is as different from my father as I can imagine, but also full of love, and a very quiet passion for living a life surrounded by those he loves.

I know I confuse my poor Father-in-Law often. I’m as up and down as Brian is grounded. I cry more often than other people and he is so compassionate I know he would like to fix it. I think, though, that he is delighted for Brian that he found a life partner who makes him happy.

Brian waited to age 36 to marry, and I’m pretty sure his parents were worried he would spend his life alone. We are so happy together, that both of Brian’s folks are delighted for him. I’ll never make full sense to them, I imagine, but they are accepting of my warts because Brian loves me.

I appreciate them fully, because they brought this wonderful man into the world and raised him up as a confident individual who is just the right partner for me. It’s great to find a parent who is accepting of, and happy for your life just as you have created it.

I want to mention one more story, a music friend who just makes me happy. When his son was born, his wife had a job which would be hard to return to if she took time off for the child. He, however, was self-employed in work that would be there any time he wanted to go back to it. He did the Mr. Mom thing and was home with his son while he was not yet in school.

When I ask this friend how his kid is, he just lights up like a Christmas Tree. His smile could not be bigger. He always tells me how well his child is doing, what he’s up to, what the child is passionate about learning at the time. I just adore asking him how the kid is. I come away with faith for humankind.

So here, today, I celebrate Fathers with glowing love inside them for their children. Whether it comes out explosively passionate like my own Father’s, thoughtful, joyful, quiet, any way at all… here I salute the fathers who do not seem to get enough press. The papers tend to focus on the rare bad case, and today I focus on the many who continue quietly enough to never make a news story.

I toast you all!

4 Responses to “Celebrating Loving Fathers”

  1. marta Says:

    it must be such a blessing having a partner who matches to you! i am happy for you every time i read this – although i cannot help feeling a kind of bitterness for myself. being alone can be helpful to grow inside, and let you feel free, but most of the time it is just hard and lonely.

  2. Diana Troldahl Says:

    It was almost a year ago that we almost lost my dad to his stroke.
    One of the ways you (and Oscar) changed my life is to help me appreciate my own father. If we had lost him last year, I would have been comforted to know our relationship was better than it had been, from knowing you.
    He made it back up north this week, which is a wonderful thing that many people thought he would never be able to do again.
    When I called him today, to tell him I love him and chat for awhile, I appreciated every moment. Ten years ago, we did not express our love for each other at all.
    Knowing you and Oscar has changed my life for the better in many ways, but perhaps this was the most important.

  3. Deborah Robson Says:

    Michelle and Barack Obama separately posted wonderful videos acknowledging and encouraging responsible fatherhood. I think that’s a wonderful and unusual type of leadership to be coming out of Washington. Reminds me of this post of yours.

  4. barbs Says:

    i love victorian houses. this purple one is a beauty. i used to see the one on bennett road every day when i picked up my daughter from school each day. we have also lived in two “older homes” which were builit in the 1920s. this was many, many years ago (1981-1983 and 1985-1987) but i still miss them. the trees, the cubbyholes (sp?), the hook on the door just were you need it, windows galore (there was no air conditioning then, remember)? i could go on and on. i cried when we moved to okemos into a suburb that lacked all the things i adore. i love your class. barb strobl

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