I love collecting quotes. These two both touch on different angles… about learning. About the imperfection in being human.

I like to remind myself that I have “Rescued Myself” a good number of times when I felt I was in a mess. It’s powerful to realize that I surely can achieve another rescue if need be.

So today I share with you words from two very different writers, one a generation ahead of me and one a generation behind. One writes books, the other writes songs/lyrics. Both speak to me.

Both are wise. Both admit that the “hiccups” are where we learn.

=+=+=+=

That’s what learning is, after all; not whether we lose the game, but how we lose and how we’ve changed because of it and what we take away from it that we never had before, to apply to other games. Losing, in a curious way, is winning.

Richard Bach, The Bridge Across Forever

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…You live you learn, You love you learn,
You cry you learn, You lose you learn,
You bleed you learn, You scream you learn…

You grieve you learn, You choke you learn,
You laugh you learn, You choose you learn,
You pray you learn, You ask you learn,
You live you learn…

Alanis Morissette, You Learn — Jagged Little Pill

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I’m a relatively happy and contented person. I somehow find myself noticing people around me who are varying degrees of unhappy.

I wonder if we expect that “perfect” exists or can be sustained. I wonder if they can’t see the good little things in between the challenges (which all humans encounter).

Now, sometimes a loved one is ill or has passed away. Sometimes income decreases or leaves us for a while. Sometimes there is truly a horrible work situation.

I have experienced all of these. There truly are big things which would make any  human unhappy.

But sometimes we are unhappy because of small things. And sometimes we are unhappy because we wait for BIG DEALS. We don’t even notice the lovely little stuff that surrounds us.

We may also believe that happy equals manic or ecstatic. Perhaps instead, sometimes happy actually can equal quiet contentedness or serenity.

Some examples from my own life:

• Brian and I went to the grocery. We found red bell peppers at a really good price, in January. A lovely little thing. Brian made a great veggie stir fry. Fresh veggies in January. A lovely little thing unavailable to my grandparents on the farm in Minnesota not that long ago…
• We sang for folks at a retirement home. Some of the residents knew our songs. They smiled and sang along. A lovely little thing. Some of the staff danced across the room. They smiled during their workday and we helped that happen. Another lovely little thing.
• We had an hour drive to the retirement home. We could have been miserable about a two-hour round trip. Instead we enjoyed the rare sunshine. We  noticed the pale blue sky with pretty though standard-looking clouds. We looked at the lovely little things and did not fuss over the commute.
• I have been drowning in too many clothes here, stacking them wherever I can find a spot. I have a friend who works at a homeless day shelter. I’ve started a routine of finding 5 or more things to give away/toss every day. Warm clothes go to the shelter. Worn out items go in the trash. No-longer-used kitchen items and summer clothes go to a charity resale shop. And now when go to my closet, one of the three racks is no longer crammed and wrinkling my good clothes. A lovely little thing.
• I have many allergies/sensitivities to foods. Most packaged foods do not work for me. I found one pricey sort of soda pop (Virgil’s cream soda) without any ingredients that bother me. I can take that as a treat when I go to gatherings. I could focus on the hassle of making most of my own food (sometimes I do, but I try to remember it is not chemo or dialysis). Instead, I notice the special treat I do get to enjoy at times. A lovely little thing.
• Once I worked in an office which was driven by sales. The salespeople, for the most part, were fascinated by the possibility of a million-dollar sale. One guy found small businesses who appreciated his low-key manner.  He stayed in sales a long time, with a lot of bread-and-butter jobs, rather than a few biggies. Lovely little things.

If we expect that a new job, relationship, city, purchase, weight goal, whatever… will turn around our lives, if we are waiting for some elusive ship to come in, if we are looking for big things to make us happy, well, my friends… we will never get there. The ship may not come in as we picture it.

My ship has definitely come in. It’s in the form of no credit-card debt. It looks like a humble but adorable home in a medium-sized midwestern city. It’s painting the window & door trim on the house lavender. It looks like sitting in the living room with my beloved, not saying anything as we sit quietly surfing the internet.

My ship looks like a typical LynnH-week full of lunches with friends. My ship looks like a paid off 1998 blue New Beetle. My ship looks like children who call me Ms. Lynn and show me what they knit in the week since I last saw them.

My ship looks like getting clothing at used clothing stores instead of worrying about how to buy that $200 dress (yes, I did that once, on credit at a time when paying it back was painfully difficult). My ship looks like a closet of wool & cashmere garments purchased for less than $10 apiece, used but not yet adored until I found them.

My ship includes a husband who lights up when I walk in the room, in spite of all my idiosyncrasies. My ship looks like good relationships with my family. My ship includes friends and coworkers and folks who hire me, who value my contribution and are happy to have me in their circle.

My ship looks like gratitude. My ship looks like seeing how I am becoming a more solidly-grounded person, an interesting person. It looks like understanding that my precious gray hair shows I’ve learned a few things.

My ship looks like a hammock on the porch in summer and a hot water bottle on my feet in winter. My ship looks like really good tea which is affordable to me, every day.  Tea which was not available to non-royalty for generations…

Do not think for a minute my life has always been this way. I have had far too many authentically sad and down days in my first 30 years on this planet. Much of that sadness could make any human weep.

I have done a lot of work with self-awareness and believing in the future, and that work and attitude is starting to pay off. Luckily, I’m 51 now and it just keeps getting better.

Look for a tiny ship which comes into your life several times a day. If you wait for a BIG DEAL it may never come.

If you notice the Lovely Little Things? You find many Lovely Little Ships, one after another. Today. No waiting required.

My event at Schuler Books Eastwood Town Center was promoted in some places for 7pm and some places for 7:30. Whoops!

I will be there at 7:00. I will save the reading I will do from the book, until the 7:30 people have come around. We will make it work for everybody, as best as we can.

Thanks for understanding.

Hello, friends. I have allowed life (and a five-day headache) to distract me from writing for you. You deserve better.

It will be another cram-packed day but I believe you deserve a little content here from me. Your loyalty is much appreciated.

Therefore, today I will share with you a particularly important quotation for me. It has inspired me through times of self-doubt. I hope it will inspire you, as well.

This text reminds me that whatever I can contribute, that contribution is important to the world. Doubt is human, and particularly common in artful folks. Perhaps this will help you, too.

There is a vitality, a life-force, a quickening that is translated through you into action; and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium, and be lost. The world will not have it.

It is not your business to determine how good it is; nor how valuable it is; nor how it compares to other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open… No artist is pleased…

There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching – and makes us more alive than the others.

Martha Graham
(to Agnes DeMille)

For those who do not know, Martha Graham was a pioneer in Modern Dance. She changed the dance world in one lifetime, created a new branch of a tree called “dance.” If you enjoy biographies, I recommend the book “Martha” by Agnes DeMille (another dancer/choreographer who worked mostly in theater, and who was a friend of Martha’s).

“One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn’t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself.” – Lucille Ball

I giggled as I approached Haslett Middle School Monday, to teach a computer class. This was what I saw:

Poor Bob!

Folks who have followed me for a while, know I love “knitting as art.” Thanks to Twitter and KnittingNews, I followed some links and found the home page of Robyn Love.

On Ms. Love’s pages, you might view a water tower cozy, the Knitted Mile, a few other yarn-media pieces and a few pieces which do not include knitting. All are creative and fascinating.

Just for something new to chat about, I’ll mention that Brian and I sang at Altu’s newly-expanded restaurant last night. Now there is a proper raised stage, and the restaurant has a totally new, relaxed feel. There is plenty of room for large groups now. It feels so lovely, I hope it brings abundant new business to her in these uncertain times.

Back to Geek, Geek, Geek…

The computer transition is almost done. I expect that my next blog post will be typed on that computer rather than this VISTA machine I’ve had just over 3 years. This is such a big deal that I cried when I saw my Africa trip photos on my new computer, with no hassle.

I had three main complaints about the VISTA/Toshiba. (A minor one was that she was ugly to my eyes; remind me that this matters, the next time I think it does not.)

My Ugh List

1. The mouse would go on strike, sometimes for 45 seconds at a time. I would wiggle the mouse back and forth, and that pointer on screen would just sit there. At the same time, I could arrow up/down, page up/down, use keystrokes such as Ctrl-P to do commands like “Print.” The mouse would do whatever it wanted. I’m sure the driver was the problem but 3 years later there is no updated driver on the Toshiba site. Frustrating!

2. There is only one Ctrl key on this keyboard. I am someone who learned computers before there was any mouse. I type very well, and it is easy for me to memorize keystrokes. The previously-mentioned Ctrl-P command to Print, is not do-able with my one left hand, on this machine. I need a left hand for Ctrl and a right hand for P. If I had 2 Ctrl keys it would make the mouse thing less of a bother. I miss that, often.

3. VISTA has far too many security features. It asks you to confirm things you obviously just told it to do. This is not just a delay but an irritation.

I had to set up Adobe InDesign to “Run as Administrator” for it to work consistently. But the roughest one for me was when it told me that I did not have proper permissions/authority to open up the images imported from my XP computer. When I could not open my Africa Trip pictures, it kicked me in the gut.

My  Good-Stuff List

1. I must say there are a few features I like in VISTA. My favorite one is a button in the File/Save and File/Open boxes called “Recent.” I save things in many, many different places on my computer. This lets me see the ones I’ve recently worked upon, without having to navigate all over to get to that folder/document.

2. I also like that the Start Menu can be “stuck” in place if you click (in both VISTA and Win7). For example, Start/All Programs/Microsoft Office… if I click there, I can take my mouse away from the menu and see the list: MS Word, MS Excel, MS Outlook, etc… (in Windows 95/98/ME/XP you had to hold the mouse still, there was no making it sit still and wait).

3. As much as I dislike the layout of the Toshiba keyboard, it has not broken yet. The Ctrl key and the Shift keys sometimes go “crunch” when I press them. However, every key works 3 years later, and not a one has fallen off. I am very hard on keyboards. I type a lot, and I type “hard.” My first (beloved) VAIO laptop, a gift to me over 10 years ago, finally had to be replaced when my backspace and space bar keys fell off, and the keyboard (part alone) cost $400.

4. The Toshiba held up to its reputation as a workhorse machine. I think the only repair I’ve had was to replace a power supply, in 3 years.  I wish they would have put up a driver repair for the mouse problem. Probably I would have lived with the other problems longer, had I not been tempted to scream several times a day when the mouse would go on strike. I was tired of getting angry so often.

Cool statistic: It took ten hours to copy 27 GB of images from my 8-year-old XP machine, to an external USB hard disk drive. It took ONE hour to copy the same images from that same USB external hard drive to the Windows7 machine. Things have improved vastly(hardware *and* software) since the early days of XP. This is a good thing.

Mini-Preview

Maybe once I get settled in a bit on Windows 7, I can report to you all about what I like/dislike about it. There surely will be items on both sides of the fence.

Right now I like that I can see My Documents and Public Documents in the same window. They call this the “Documents Library.” I think this will be handy for those who have public documents they share with others in their network (as I have).

The taskbar is not at all like the ones we have had in Windows since Win95. It looks more like a newer MacIntosh. This will take a small learning curve for me. I wonder how my retiree students will do with it, if they get computers for home that do not match those in my classroom?

Knitting? I Think about it a Lot!

I’m not sure what happened to “Knitting for Myself Month.” There has been a little bit of knitting, all sorts of small objects, some for me and some not.

Little objects fit the bill, as I can take them to wait in line at the PO or a restaurant. My dream projects require home knitting, and that is not happening right now.

But I now see myself going from computer change-over to tax records season. Administrative month, more like it. Maybe knitting needs to wait for February?

The new machine is making me happy, so far.

1. She was inexpensive for a laptop.

2. She weighs just over 3 lb but has a good monitor.

3. She’s much faster than any machine I’ve owned.

4. She’s pretty. The Toshiba always looked machine-clunky-ugly to me.

5. Her keyboard has two Ctrl keys. You can not KNOW how happy that makes me.

6. It took several hours to back up 31,000 images from the Toshiba to the external drive, but less than one hour to “restore” them to the new computer.

Her Name; the Story

An odd happenstance: I always name my computers after strong women. I’ve named them Kate (Katherine Hepburn), Helen (Keller), Martha (Graham, the dancer), Lizzy (my mother, who was also named after her very strong Aunt Lizzy), Isis (the Goddess) and more. So this time, I was starting up the new laptop at Rae’s Yarn Boutique, sitting next to beloved young knitter A. A little distracted?

Somehow when it asked me my desired username (Lynndy) it automatically named the computer after me (Lynndy-MSI). I tried to hit the “back” button which was there, and it did not work. There was no way to rename my computer.

So the strong woman my new computer is named after? Me. (My middle name is Doreen, and I have signed my name with my middle initial since middle school. Therefore, my brother has called me Lynn D., pronounced Lindy or Lynndy, for years. I like it a lot. )

I had better live up to this expectation. Those women are hard acts to follow!

Oh, Yeah…

Back to moving documents. I tell you what, I’m happy so far. Whew!

The photo is of a LARGE heart, about a foot across, knit for me by lovely young A, probably a year or two ago. It is knit at a huge gauge with several yarns held together at once. Love it. It’s hanging on my wall right where I can see it when I am copying documents to the new machine.

I did it. The last purchase in 2009 was a laptop. I can not believe how prices have come down since I got my last one, about 3 years ago.

The one I’m still using was a first-week Windows VISTA machine and I have never liked it. It cost 3 times more than the new one, and has worse specs.

The only thing really missing in the new, affordable machine,  is a CD/DVD player. However, we have an external one I could use if I should need it. I will need it to install some software and that should be about it. I don’t burn CDs.

So cross your fingers for me, please? I’m in the process of copying well over 100 gigabytes of information between machines. It takes a long time and I need to keep proper focus so that I do not duplicate or miss something.

Susan Hensel Gallery greets the new year with cozy cross stitch and frilly crochet that transgresses the historic boundaries of what is considered “a woman’s work.” Hand made felt and artyarn by Rachel Starr Suntop and unconventional counted cross stitch, piecework and crochet by Sara Christensen Blair explore issues of the body, of geography, and the changing role of the Feminine in society

Please join us in celebrating these two up-and-coming artists!
OPENING RECEPTION -Saturday, January 16, 7-9pm

Susan Hensel Gallery
3441 Cedar Ave S, Minnepolis

I could spend all day reading and looking at photos, from the Knitted Textile Awards Showcase 2009 (and the links to years 2005-2008 listed at the bottom of the page). Wowie!

These are students in the UK. They are incredibly creative and diverse. I love it. What an uplifting boost! Right when I am cold and merely inspired by the idea of warmth.

This is mostly clothing, although with incredible variety. There are also non-garment items in the mix. Very creative and very inspiring.

I don’t HAVE all day… must nibble a little at a time until I look/process it all. Then I’m sure I could start all over again.

We did start our New Year’s Eve with a potluck and a Contra Dance downtown. However, I really wanted to be home for midnight, just quiet, the two of us.

We had drinks with which to toast the new year:

Not Exactly Times Square

For some reason, I am fascinated with watching the ball drop at Times Square. I don’t enjoy television, but if we are home on New Year’s Eve I will turn it on long enough to see the ball drop. (Often I don’t turn it on again for another year, but I digress.)

However, this year none of our three TVs can receive any signal at all. Brian decided he would make a ball drop for me:

You get extra points if that photo makes you chuckle because you understand just how geeky that move was. Clue: It did not bounce much at all. More like “clunk.”

We started the year by dancing together without music, in my office; and organic hot chocolate with nutmeg. Now I’m starting the first day with a blog post. I think I’m on a good start.

Other Thoughts

A resolution? Kindness. I wish to remember an intent to be kind always. Boundaries can exist side by side with this intent.

I am a passionate woman with a few too many words. I sometimes blurt out things, and sometimes I inadvertently hurt someone. It happens by accident.

I’m not into “snarky” for entertainment, after growing up in a society where we fought with words rather than fists. I know how much a clever statement can do damage to relationship. And I believe that relationship is the most important thing about being alive.

There are things I said decades ago which I can never take back, and that makes me ache after all those years. I wish to live without creating any more of those regrets.

But this is not a resolution for New Year’s Eve, or for merely one year. It started in my mind and in my heart, before today… and I hope it never ends. I’m imperfect, but a goal is a help.

I appreciate each one of you, everyone who reads this whether you comment or not. Thank you for being a part of my life.

Our neighborhood has quite a variety of homes and styles. There are sections of 1920s bungalows, 1940s Cape Cod homes, an out-of-place but cool 60’s split level, and a bunch of 1900-1910 homes with front porches (some called four-squares). There are even a couple of houses that were once farm houses, before the other homes were built.

It seems that each block has its own personality. I joke that we live on the “Dandelion Side of the Street.” Just across our side yard, and behind us, the chemical spray fertilizer companies do a grand business. The yards are green and well-tended.

Our yard blooms, but grows without a lot of guidance. I love plants which “bloom where they are planted” without much help.

Well, back behind us and nearer a busier street, is one single block which has been very into decorating for Christmas, since I’ve lived here. Each year is different, as people come and go. But all the photos here, save for the last, came from that one block of Roberts Street.

If you live in Lansing, it is  just south of Mt. Hope Avenue, between Pennsylvania and Cedar. If you have a child who likes lights, this may be a good spot to check.

Of course, it looks different after dark, but our walk was in the afternoon. I think my camera does better in this light, anyway.

We always go for a walk on holidays. This block is usually the highlight of the walk.

For the record, all of the photos above this sentence, are from one household. To be fair, they do have a double lot. But wow, they are VERY into this decorating thing! The rest of these photos belong to one lot each, on that same block.

And last, but not least… The Guitar Man. He plays guitar on street corners in Lansing, no matter what the weather. He’s got an orange bucket on that street corner, and I mean, corners where there is an abandoned gas station (thus nobody to tell him to move on).

Lansing is not much of a walking town, and he is stationed where few walk… where vehicle traffic is high. He works often, I see him a lot, and there are several corners he frequents.

This Christmas afternoon, we put a buck in his bucket but he was quite busy chatting with the guy in this pickup truck. He’d been playing when we’d rounded the block but found a buddy for a while, I guess. I got this photo from across the street, at the almost-empty huuuge Walter French Middle School. An amazing building, early 1900s red brick with limestone accents.

But the story of the school must wait for another day. Meanwhile, check out one of Lansing’s fixtures, the Guitar Man (see guitar on his back) chatting with Pickup Truck Guy.

By the way… while waiting at the corner by Guitar Man, for the light to change… a guy in a fancy SUV was playing some jazz pretty loud, and I could hear it. So I danced my way down the sidewalk, in time to his music.

When the light changed, he honked at me on his way by, and gave me a peace sign. Sweet.