It’s my brother Eric’s birthday today. I love my brother so deeply into the cells of my body, I can not explain it in words.

He and I have been through some things nobody should have to go through… the biggest being the loss of our father when I was 14 and he was 1 week before his 13th birthday, and the second being the loss of his first wife when she was 27 and he was 30. I was there with them the day she died, very unexpectedly.

What I often say is that I lost my father, but I gained my brother in the process. Before that, we had our typical sibling conflicts. After that, we had to pull together or we were clear we would not really make it. Mom had enough to deal with, being a single mom out of the blue at age 38 (Dad was 40) and she had a full time job as a teacher. So she became the Dad, so to speak, and we sort of became the Mom. We did grocery shopping, on our bicycles at first. We cooked together. And when I cooked with Eric, I enjoyed cooking. Today it is a necessary chore, but with Eric it was entertaining and artful.

I’m a moody grrl, and sometimes I get stuck with thinking in circles and not knowing where to go, what to do. I just have to call my brother, spill out all of what seem like random thoughts rattling around in my brain, and then stop and listen. Eric will ask me one question. And that question tells me where I need to go. He never tells me what to do, he knows how to lead my mind to my own solution.

When I chose a difficult relationship for 16 years, Eric was always there. If I needed to get away for a weekend, I could always go down to his house and crash, and talk, any time I wanted. And I did. When the marriage was over he admitted that it was painful to see me make that choice but it was clear I was choosing and he respected my right to choose my own life. Well, I’m big on boundaries, and my brother was good at that one for a very long time. Bless his soul, he loves me just right for me.

By the way… all you fiberartists out there, Eric is probably the best embroiderer I know. Lucky me, I have a pair of pillowcases he made years ago… they still are in good shape because I don’t use them much, they are so precious.

He also sews well. For my first wedding, he made his then-fiancee’ Kelly (late first wife) a dress just as she requested… blue with ruffles and added lace. Exactly what she wanted, and beautifully executed.

And one time he sewed a pair of blue jeans from scratch, that looked like he’d purchased them at the store, with proper overlapping seams and the whole nine yards. When he wants to be particular, he can do it better than anyone else I know. Fortunately he is usually a mellow and relaxed sort of guy… with other people, anyway. With his art, he’s picky just like me.

Here is a photo of Eric last Thanksgiving, when we were finishing our meal at the Sushi restaurant we finally found open that day. And a photo of the neighborhood kids in about 1969. Eric is the far right kid with nearly-white hair and red shirt. I’m in the back row just behind his shoulder, sort of hiding. The other kids lived next door. I wonder what they are doing now…