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Archive for October 5th, 2006

Ten Years. Aaaaahhhh…..

Thursday, October 5th, 2006

weddingBrian and I were married ten years ago today. I can not explain what a comfortable thing it has been to live together this decade. He’s such a good person, easy to live with. When I’m acting unbalanced he just watches from the wings until I come to my senses. He doesn’t try to fix me, he doesn’t yell, he doesn’t tell me what to do or not to do.

I knew I could marry Brian when I made homemade cookies and then realized I’d eaten the last one without worrying, even thinking of what he’d say/do if I left none for him. I was not afraid of him or what he’d say/think/do if I surprised him by not leaving him the last cookie. This was symbolic of the rest of our relationship. I could trust him to take me just as I was. I did not have to try to read his mind (which would not work, anyway).

That may not seem big to you. I had my share of fear and unhappiness in the first several decades of my life. Nobody ever beat me up but words and attitudes canLynn as Eudora, dancing for Brian make a person shrivel inside. Brian treats me with respect even when I’m acting more like a toddler than an adult. He gets it that I can live like a bit of an emotional rollercoaster and it’s not about him. He doesn’t have to fix me, and if he waits long enough the familiar adult Lynn will re-appear. We have a relationship with boundaries that work.

And I’m crazy ’bout him! We just sat for over an hour and rehearsed our music. It was the most fun jam session I’ve had in a long time. Just me and my sweetie, a large handful of really fine songs, and enough time to play as long as we wanted to play.

Life’s true meaning is about the little things. Music with your sweetie on one day, after a previous day working together on making the house more workable… well, that works for me. Simple everyday pleasures are where we can create our overall feelings about life.

BriaFab Heftonesn and I don’t usually expect gifts for holidays. If we give them, they are typically small and it’s fine if one person gives and the other does not. Brian has taught me to skip the gift if it is not “right.” Better no gift or a late one, than money and time/energy expended on something that really does not have meaning or value.
My mother very much wanted to throw a party for us, for this milestone anniversary. She’s so happy for us she wanted to invite both our families and have a celebration. We may still do it, but for the actual anniversary day we both work till about 8-8:30pm and we will just take ourselves out to dinner after work. We’ll enjoy peaceful, quiet time together.

I tell you, my life just keeps getting better. Brian is a very large part of it. Believe me, I let him know how I feel. Life is short and I make sure to speak my feelings out loud.

I may not post a blog entry in the next 24 hours. If I don’t, you need not worry. I’ll be back.

Photos: 1)The only wedding photo I have that is scanned into digital format. I scanned it so long ago that it was in .gif format and it lost a lot of detail in the process but you can see we’re happy. (Note that my wedding dress was a turquoise silk gown, it’s really beautiful and I still wear it when we sing on stage sometimes.) 2)Me, as Eudora (my dance persona), dancing at Aladdin’s restaurant last April. That’s Brian in the back watching me dance. I love this photo. (This dress I purchased in Cairo in December 2004… it has quite a story of its own.) 3)Brian and I performing at our CD Release Party at Magdalena’s Teahouse last June. (That’s yet a third turquoise dress, for the record.)