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Archive for January 10th, 2007

The Gift of Sitting Still

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007

I did not sleep much last night, but I feel a bit better this afternoon than I did yesterday. That is, I can sit up in a chair rather than reclining on the couch. It’s like a really bad cold with a tiny raised temp, not bad enough to sleep all day, but enough that I can not (and should not) stand up for long or engage in my normal activity level.

Jan says (in a comment):

It’s amazing how our need to continue working is so strong that we think of ways to modify our usual work habits to fit our reduced energy and working brain cells, isn’t it?

Indeed it is. In my case it’s amplified by the fact of my self-employment. If I do not get work done, I do not get paid. Sometimes the pay is relatively immediate, sometimes it is long-term, but taking it easy is not part of the deal.

poemballet.jpgAnyone who tells you that you can “be your own boss” is trying to sell you something. That is not a complaint, just an observation. I love my life, but every single customer, every yarn shop, fiber festival, student, community ed director, music venue, every one of them is my boss. Being self employed means you spread the “boss” around, not that you do away with one.

I’ve had to cancel five hours of billable work so far. That is not bad for the length of time I’ve been able to recline because of it.

Yet my yarn-biz helper could have come for an extended time this Tuesday. I cancelled that, too. Her help would have been very useful as I have five pounds of yarn dyed (three are spoken for) and they need re-skeining. I haven’t had her here now for three weeks and I am noticing the loss. One day at a time, right?

poemhootie.jpgToday I sat still at my desk longer than usual. I still do not feel much like typing and I was looking for a piece of paper that had last been seen in the pile on the left. A few hours later, the towering pile on the left was reduced to merely an inch tall. The piece of paper was still not found… but I was on a roll so I started in on piles on the right.

I finally did find my paper and now my small trash bin under the desk is nearly full (after being emptied by Brian just before I woke up). I recently had two paper-avalanche situations at my desk so this all is very good. I tired out before completing the pile-excavation but it’s not threatening disaster any more.

While I was sorting, I was calling companies who had sent me junk/postal mail. One by one I requested to be removed from their mailing lists. If they don’t waste time and money sending to me, I also get the benefit of not having to truck it home from the post office and decide whether I want to read it or not.

I even decided to go off a list for a volunteer theatre where I performed in two shows… before I met Brian. I don’t like to spectate so I don’t typically go to the theatre, the movies, or watch TV. As much as I am fond of the organization, I decided to let go of their mail and save them some money.

Now I’m back to yesterday’s location… propped on the couch with laptop (I love love love the new battery I splurged on at Christmas). I spent yesterday listening to back issues of Brenda Dayne’s Cast-On podcast. I find her refreshing and authentic, which is just right when you feel punk and want to “spectate” for once. I can listen and knit, and this is as good as it gets, really.

poemdance.jpgThe sun shone today, that really made things nicer in this living room. One benefit of a relatively small house is that the living room can have windows on the north, east and south sides. I enjoyed that sunshine today!

I raided the freezer for some already-baked granola bars, and am drinking Japanese tea while enjoying those. Now I’ll go and start another Cast-On episode and knit a bit more.

I tell you, this would be a perfect vacation day if I didn’t need a box of facial tissue with me wherever I go…

Photos: Refrigerator poems. We had a set of music words and another set of computer words. I took them off the refrigerator recently and will be giving them to a creative young man I know, but I decided to photograph some of the better ones first.