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Archive for June 21st, 2009

Celebrating Loving Fathers

Sunday, June 21st, 2009

I find Father’s day to be a rough one. I lost my father when I was 14, and he was 40. He loved me deeply. He lived life with full passion, and I clearly take after him in that way. I still think of him often. I am glad I am clear of the love he held for me, and I try to hold that thought on this day.

My Father-in-Law is the only father in my life at this time. My husband is not a father, and my only brother is not a father, either. Brian’s father is a very good man. He is as different from my father as I can imagine, but also full of love, and a very quiet passion for living a life surrounded by those he loves.

I know I confuse my poor Father-in-Law often. I’m as up and down as Brian is grounded. I cry more often than other people and he is so compassionate I know he would like to fix it. I think, though, that he is delighted for Brian that he found a life partner who makes him happy.

Brian waited to age 36 to marry, and I’m pretty sure his parents were worried he would spend his life alone. We are so happy together, that both of Brian’s folks are delighted for him. I’ll never make full sense to them, I imagine, but they are accepting of my warts because Brian loves me.

I appreciate them fully, because they brought this wonderful man into the world and raised him up as a confident individual who is just the right partner for me. It’s great to find a parent who is accepting of, and happy for your life just as you have created it.

I want to mention one more story, a music friend who just makes me happy. When his son was born, his wife had a job which would be hard to return to if she took time off for the child. He, however, was self-employed in work that would be there any time he wanted to go back to it. He did the Mr. Mom thing and was home with his son while he was not yet in school.

When I ask this friend how his kid is, he just lights up like a Christmas Tree. His smile could not be bigger. He always tells me how well his child is doing, what he’s up to, what the child is passionate about learning at the time. I just adore asking him how the kid is. I come away with faith for humankind.

So here, today, I celebrate Fathers with glowing love inside them for their children. Whether it comes out explosively passionate like my own Father’s, thoughtful, joyful, quiet, any way at all… here I salute the fathers who do not seem to get enough press. The papers tend to focus on the rare bad case, and today I focus on the many who continue quietly enough to never make a news story.

I toast you all!