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Archive for November 3rd, 2009

Sad News Today

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

I got word today that my knitting friend, Luann Cosper, died Thursday. It was so sudden, I had no way to say goodbye.

I am glad I always told her how great it was to see her, every time we connected. I always hugged her goodbye and told her I loved her.

I guess I’ve lost too many people young, and I’ve just learned to tell people how I feel as often as I can find a way. You never really know when one of you might be gone, and good memories are important. (She was quite camera shy and I did not push it, so I have no photos, only memories.)

Luann was only 54, merely 3 years older than me. She’d had mysterious health symptoms off and on for years, but they never seemed to know what it was. Or that’s what she told me, anyway.

We sometimes went to Altu’s for dinner, when we were lucky. Often I got to see her at Rae’s shop, which was between her work and her home on the east side. It is funny, she bought herself a house only 4 blocks from the house I purchased for myself when I was single, on the same street. We had been neighbors, but I did not know that until after I had moved.

She worked at LCC. When I had trouble registering last year (I first registered there in 1977 and had a very old student number), she got it straightened out. I know she helped a lot of folks out, as she did me. She knew how to work the computer system when others could not figure it out.

I got to know Luann initially because she and Jean volunteered to help me out, the first summer I had a CityKidz Knit! program at Foster Center. (Luann and Jean both knew the kids in the photos today). Jean could help only once a week, Luann helped me two times a week that year. We lost Jean about a year ago. Now Luann is also gone.

You know, sometimes you do not need to see someone often, for them to be really special and important. I remember one year I was stressed out about scheduling my classes at Foster Center, several years into my program. I no longer had volunteers, and other things had also changed a lot. She reminded me that I’d had a very rough time the previous summer. She encouraged me to do something different to avoid a repeat situation. I was able to change gears, thanks to her input.

When I went to Africa in 2004-05, Luann gave me a mug for drinking tea, some teabags, and a small red leather pouch in which to carry my tiny double-pointed needles on my trip. I took that pouch everywhere I went in Africa, it was just the thing to protect my tools from breaking or getting caught in other items in my purse. The mug was huge, and currently sits on my desk holding double-pointed knitting needles.

I have a good bunch of yarn Luann gave me, very special yarn. I guess I’ll be knitting with that very soon. I can remember her with each stitch.

Drat. Triple-drat. The only way to not hurt when people go, is to not love others in the first place. I refuse to go that direction.

Today, I will remember that if someone impacts us after they are gone, this is a tribute to the quality of our relationship. She’s not all gone yet, as long as I feel her love in my heart.

Drat. There is no way to make loss feel OK. Hug someone today, OK?