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Archive for July 24th, 2010

Being Human

Saturday, July 24th, 2010

I have been without words for you lately. My life is at a point of change and re-evaluation, as lives do at times, and I find myself without a blog topic.

MarshallSky

It started when my car needed a new engine (last April). It was a hit I was ill-prepared to deal with. My reserves did not add up to the cost of the repair.

Without going into details, this spurred a reality check. I am very happy with my life in so many ways, and yet there is a need to change. How can I change to increase income without decreasing happiness? I am absolutely sure this is possible (in part because I have genuine gratitude for income, even in years when I’ve punched a clock at a box store to get it). I am not sure how it will go this time.

This happened, also, at a time I realized that I was over-using my speaking voice. I love teaching and public speaking. I also sing, but as a trained singer, my singing voice is less impacted by use than my talking voice. I have a wonderful doctor who is helping me get the voice healthy again. However, this summer I am not teaching as much as I did last year.

A big part of  my support system involves lunches or tea dates with folks who love me. I work alone at home a lot, and those meals with loved ones really balance and ground me. Lately I’ve made a point to do less of that social time, and more alone time at home (where I write and knit and otherwise work and live).

With my newly quieter time, I am swatching a lot, trying new knitting techniques. I’m contemplating where I will take my next set of knitting designs. I also have been tossing things from my past, going through old boxes of papers. I found at least one paper from as far back as 1984. It is great to get free of clutter and the residue of what was truly a different Lynn.

One weekend I decided to purge the kitchen of everything I did not truly want to keep there. It was magic. Here’s a photo of the counter just before I finished. I noticed how pretty the colors were, just my everyday cooking/serving items.

kitchencountercolors

I assure you I am well. My life is very good. I have everything I need and many extras. My husband loves me. I do not need anything else. It is just as though someone switched the “channel” when I turned my head and I’m getting my bearings for the new reality. Everyone has times like this. It just happens to be my turn.

Meanwhile, I think of you often. I have been blogging since November 28, 2002. This is my published post 2,963. Many of you have become real friends to me, some of us have met in person. You are real and important in my heart and my life. I’m quiet right now, but I think of you as I take photos wherever I go. Somehow, though, I have not found words when I sat to write.

It may be that I will start posting those photos for you, with minimal text. I have so MANY things I want to say here, but for now I wonder if ColorJoy-ful photos will be how I stay connected with you for a little while.

Hugs to everyone out there.

floorwithoutboxes